23/07/2007

This is what i cant say no to anyone for anything. Everyday i come with a thought to do dispute with jas but i cant make it. You know i think i will be only in my mind and nevertheless. I don't have that much of power level to argue with her, sometimes, i think to argue with her. Sometimes, i think that its me only who asks her well being.and that is my fault. if  i console her or ask her whereabouts. Then and there only she gots the chance to be nearer to me. And that thing i don't like about her. I don't know why she wants to be in my life..Why she tells all her problems to me. Because she thinks of me a genius who will solve all her problems. I cant handle my self's problems then what  i can do for her. I should make her understand this. Otherwise..............

He is treating me somehow specially. I'm talking about k. He thinks of me a special or something that i don't know. He will  make me crazy.

21/07/2007 Morning 2:40 a.m.

Hi ! That is why i don't like about it. To not to have sleep in eyes. Always remembering and thinking about all the talks we had re visualising the incidents in mind. All this going on in morning. I don't  know why i am going again on that way which I'd never choose or which i have always defied. Why i am going on wrong way?? And for whom...??? K...??? Who is just a little child..??? Is he responding or not that also i don't know. He says 'im serious', but I'm taking it very lightly. He must be just kidding. Wish i was able to read his mind....

ONE THING I DON'T KNOW WHY....

20/07/2007

Today I'm remembering Adi - Aditya Jassi. Kash I can meet him. The style yaar ! I go fida. I'm just mad for him. Ek wo jassi hai jis pe main pagal hu aur ek ye jassi hai jo mujhe pagal banakar rahegi. U wanna know..?? Actually, i just don't talk to her. Its she who talks to me. I don't call her friend now. Shes just a classmate and i don't want to make another relationship with her. Actually i don't want  a crap in my life again and again.

19/07/2007

what I've thought i could not do. and what i did i had not thought. i just don't want to be with j. but i don't know what is it that keeps me with her. neither i know nor i could do anything for it. its just like going on and just going on.

eh... latest song I've heard.....

I'm a big big girl in the big big world 

and i know its not a big thing

but i do do feel that i too too will

miss u much miss u much

I'm a big big girl...................

urghhhhhhhhhhh............. why he does so?? is he having habit of being beaten, to have always punishment? all the time he goes around to roam in school, bunks assemblies and everything which could bring punishment for him. why?is he having some enematic feeling for me why do he hurts me too much? why do he hurts me?? I'm been nowadays attached with him too much.and i think so much about him late nights and therefore i cant bear seeing him having punishments.please may god give him some of my mind's ethics and rules and may he escape from some of the punishments he is going to get in future life... is that so for what i should not talk to him?? is it the reason?? what a major reason i did got for not talking Na?? i should say him sorry now..he just asked if I'm not talking to him because he was been punished. what a hell thing i had done?????!!!!!!

18/07/2007

I'm shocked. what did k say had has shocked me intensely. he just said ' I'm serious'. what does that mean i don't know but it seems to that way i should not tell you. i think that he likes me. but I'm sure nothing is like that rumour.i don't think to be so optimistic. but what? i don't have to pay for my thoughts. but the thing most important is I'm ordinary and he's extraordinary.its hard to write but truth. and truth is always stranger than fiction. and i know this is just a rumouring joke and no more. i have to believe on this as there is nothing as i think of and i don't know but I'm sure there is something which i cant express. let me explain.. something in the eyes. something magical is happening what i know but to say it is surely impossible. but to feel it is possible. and to know it is best.

17/07/2007

I've messed up between two........

to do friendship or to encourage truth...... what should i do its unknown but i know that whatever I'd be doing,I'm sure that it'd prove wrong.... its just because my mind is unbalanced and I'm sure i cant think about any topic just now this day....

the school diary: 07/07/2007

the school diary: 07/07/2007: "to fir aao........ mujhko satao.......to fir aao.........mujhko rulao.......aa bhi jao........kaha ho tum??? i m just tired out of it. find..."